The best horror films of 2013

2013 was a poor year for horror cinema, plain and simple. From the selection in which even the best titles belong, more properly, to the half-assed "not too bad" category, I made the following list.

1. LORDS OF SALEM

USA, 13

***(*)       3+

2. STOKER

USA, 13

***   3+

3. CURANDERO

MEX, 05/13

***  3+

4. BYZANTIUM

UK, 13

***        3

5. RESOLUTION

USA, 12

***       3+

6. LESSON OF THE EVIL

JAP, 12

***       3

7. THE CONJURING

USA, 13

***      3-

8. INSENSIBLES

SPA, 12

***      3-

9. MANIAC

USA, 13

**(*)    3-

10. EVIL DEAD

USA, 13

**(*)    3-

11. CURSE OF CHUCKY

USA, 13

**(*)      3-

12. YOU'RE NEXT

CAN, 13

**(*)        3-

13. BAD MILO

USA, 13

**(*)     3-

14. ENTITY

UK, 12

**(*)    3-

15. BLIND ALLEY

SPA, 11

**(*)    3-

16. HORROR STORIES

KOR, 13

**(*)     3-

17. TALES FROM THE DARK

HK, 12

**(*)      3-

18. THE ABCS OF DEATH

USA etc, 12

**(*)    3-

19. ANTIVIRAL

CAN, 12

**(*)      3-

20. NO ONE LIVES

USA, 13

**(*)     3-

21. VHS 2

USA, 13

**(*)     3-

22. HAUNTING IN CONNECTICUT 2; GHOSTS OF GEORGIA

USA, 13

**(*)    3-

23. HANSEL AND GRETEL, WITCH HUNTERS

USA, 13

**(*)    3-

The 23 titles listed above are more or less watchable.

Those below are mediocre, or worse. Listed in no particular order.

           

AMERICAN MARY

CAN, 12

**         2+

THE COLLECTION

USA, 12

**(*)    2+

MAMA

USA, 13

**(*)    2+

COME OUT AND PLAY

USA, 12

**        2-

Dario Argento's DRACULA 3D

ITA/HUN, 12

*(*)     2-

MODUS ANOMALI

13

*(*)     2-

KISS OF THE DAMNED

USA, 13

**(*)    2+

DEAD SHADOWS

FRA, 12

**        2

EXPIRATION

S. AFR, 12

**(*)    2+

DARK SKIES

USA, 13

**        2+

UNDER THE BED

USA, 13

*(*)       2-

ZOMBIE ASS

JAP, 12

**        2+

HOME SWEET HOME

USA, 13

**        2

  

STRANDED

USA, 13

**        2

LA SENDA (THE PATH)

SPA, 13

**(*)    2+

100 BLOODY ACRES

AUS, 13

**(*)    2+

THE DYATLOV PASS INCIDENT

USA/RUS, 13

**        2+

THE LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT OF ROSALIND LEIGH

CAN, 13

**(*)    2+

JUG FACE

USA, 13

**        2+

THE BUTTERFLY ROOM

ITA/USA, 12

**        2

SATURDAY MORNING MYSTERY

AUS, 13

**         2+

FRANKENSTEIN'S ARMY

13

**(*)     2+

THE CONSPIRACY

CAN, 13

**          2+

WORLD WAR Z

USA, 13

**          2+

KILL ZOMBIE! aka ZOMBIBI

HOL, 12

**          2+

WITHER

SWE, 13

**(*)      2+

NOTHING LEFT TO FEAR

USA, 13

**          2+

DARK TOUCH

UK, 13

**(*)      2+

BIG-ASS SPIDER!

USA, 13

**(*)      2+

HAUNTER

USA, 13

*(*)        2-

HELLBENDERS

CAN, 13

**(*)      2+

CARRIE

USA, 13

**          2-

CULT

JAP, 13

**(*)      2+

CONTRACTED

USA, 13

*(*)       2-

TOAD ROAD

USA, 13

*(*)       1+

WE ARE WHAT WE ARE

USA, 13

**          2

HERE COMES THE DEVIL

MEX, 12

**(*)      2+

BATTERY

USA, 13

**           2

THE COMPLEX

JAP, 13

**(*)       2+

INSIDIOUS CHAPTER 2

USA, 13

**(*)       2+

THE BEST HORROR FILMS OF 2012

             Below you'll find listed the best new horror films which became available during 2012. Not too many will be remembered a couple of years from now, but at this moment, these were at least halfway there towards the ever more distant rainbow of horror perfection.
                All films are rated from * (atrocious) to ***** (timeless perfection).

1. BERBERIAN SOUND STUDIO

UK/ITA, 12

***(*) 3+

2. BEYOND THE BLACK RAINBOW

CAN, 11

***(*)     3+

3. LIVIDE

FRA, 11

***  3+

4. SLEEP TIGHT

SPA, 12

***     3

5. PENUMBRA

ARG, 11

***      3

6. THE WOMAN IN BLACK

UK, 12

***     3

7. THE TALL MAN

CAN/FRA, 12

***      3

8. THE AWAKENING

UK, 11

***      3-

9. DETENTION

USA, 12

***       3-

10. DEAD SUSHI

JAP, 12

***       3-

11. PROMETHEUS

USA, 12

**(*)     3-

12. ABSENTIA

USA, 12

**(*)   3-

13. SINISTER

USA, 12

**(*)     3-

14. THE DEVIL'S BUSINESS

UK, 12

**(*)   3-

15. HIDDEN IN THE WOODS

CHIL, 12

**(*)   3-

16. CABIN IN THE WOODS

USA, 12

**(*)  3-

17. REC 3: GENESIS

SPA, 12

**(*)   3-

18. MIDNIGHT SON

USA, 12

**(*)    3-

19. INTRUDERS

UK/SPA, 12

**(*)   2+

20. THE MOTH DIARIES

USA, 11

**(*)   2+

            

Those below are mostly too mediocre or poor to be arranged in any order other than chronological, i.e. in order of being available and watched during 2012.

CHRISTOPHER ROTH

ITA/BEL/ROM, 11

**(*)   2+

LE MOINE

FRA, 11

**         2

ROSEWOOD LANE

USA, 12

**        2-

THEATRE BIZARRE

USA, 11

**(*)   2+

DEMONS NEVER DIE

UK, 12

**        2

URBAN EXPLORER

GER, 11

**(*)   2+

EVIDENCE

USA, 12

**(*)  2+

ADAM CHAPLIN

ITA, 11

**        2

THE CORRIDOR

USA, 11

**        2+

CASSADAGA

USA, 11

**        2

THE YELLOW WALLPAPER

USA, 11

*          1

ASYLUM BLACKOUT

FRA/UK, 11

**        2

TWIXT

USA, 12

*(*)    2-

JUAN OF THE DEAD

CUB, 11

**(*)  2+

SKEW

USA, 12

**        2

THE SQUAD aka El páramo

COLO/ARG/SPA, 11

**(*)   2+

GUT

USA, 12

*(*)     2-

SILENT HOUSE

USA, 11

**        2+

INBRED

UK, 12

**        2+

PIRANHA 3DD

USA, 12

*(*)     2-

CHILDISH GAMES

SPA, 12

**        2+

ZOMBIE 108

TAIW, 12

*(*)       2-

THE ROAD

PHIL, 11

**         2+

EDDIE THE SLEEPWALKING CANNIBAL

DEN/ CAN, 12

**         2

V/H/S

USA, 12

**(*)    2+

LOVELY MOLLY

USA, 12

**(*)   2+

RITES OF SPRING

USA, 11

**        2+

GRABBERS

UK, 11

**        2+

THALE

NOR, 12

**(*)    2+

THE ASYLUM TAPES

USA, 12

**(*)   2+

BAIT

AUS, 12

**(*)   2+

THE BARRENS

USA, 12

*(*)     2-

CHERNOBYL DIARIES

USA, 12

**(*)   2+

COCKNEYS VS. ZOMBIES

UK, 12

**        2

WRONG TURN 5

USA, 12

**        2

THE BAY

USA, 12

**        2+

CITADEL

UK, 12

**(*)    2+

LOBOS DE ARGA aka GAME OF WEREWOLVES

SPA, 12

**(*)   2+

HELLGATE

USA/THAI, 12

**        2-

IN THEIR SKIN

CAN, 12

**        2-

SADAKO

JAP, 12

**        2+

SILENT NIGHT

USA, 12

**        2

CRAWLSPACE

AUS, 12

**(*)    2+

THE BEST HORROR FILMS OF 2011

    The year in horror was atrocious, utterly forgettable and thoroughly disappointing.
    No real classics, no lasting, memorable cornerstones of the genre... Instead, what we got were mostly tired, uninspired or at best well-meaning but incomplete or misguided attempts at something vaguely different.
    These are the best horror films –according to me- that had their premiere in the Western hemisphere during 2011.

2011: TOP 40 HORROR FILMS
(listed by Ghoul)

1. O BARAO / THE BARON
POR, 11
***(*)       4-

2. KYOFU aka The Sylvian Experiments
JAP, 10
***          3

3. ATTACK THE BLOCK
UK, 11
***            3-

4. THE INNKEEPERS
USA, 11
***         3-

5. NIGHT DRIVE
S. AFR. 11
***       3-

6. GRAVE ENCOUNTERS
USA, 11
***           3-

7. NEPRIJATELJ aka ENEMY
SRB, 11
***       3-

8. INSIDIOUS
USA, 11
***           3-

9. THE WHISPERER IN DARKNESS
USA, 11
***       3-

10. THE TROLL HUNTER
NOR, 10
**(*)       3-

11. ZWART WATER
HOL, 10
**(*)         3-

12. CANNIBAL
BEL, 11
**(*)         3-

13. MOTHER'S DAY
USA, 11
**(*)           3-

14. BURKE & HARE
UK, 10
**(*)       3-

15. FINAL DESTINATION 5
USA, 11
**(*)        3-

16. THE THING
USA, 11
**(*)         3-

17. DIE FARBE
GER, 10
**(*)        3-

18. THE HAIR OF THE BEAST
CAN, 10
**(*)    3-

19. THE WARD
USA, 10
**(*)            2+

20. APOLLO 18
USA, 11
**(*)          3-

21. MASKS
GER, 11
**(*)         3-

22. KILL LIST
UK, 11
**(*)         2+

23. HELLDRIVER
JAP, 11
**(*)          2+

24. THE SHRINE
CAN, 10
**(*)          2+

25. STAKE LAND
USA, 10
**(*)        2+

26. PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 3
USA, 11
**(*)   2+

27. PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 2; TOKYO NIGHT
JAP, 10
**(*)        2+

28. LA HERENCIA VALDEMAR II; LA SOMBRA PROHIBIDA
SPA, 11
**(*)         2+

29. YELLOWBRICKROAD
USA, 11
**(*)         2+

30. RETREAT
UK, 11
**(*)        2+

31. WHITE: THE MELODY OF THE CURSE
KOR, 11
**(*)         2+

32. TUCKER & DALE VS. EVIL
USA, 10
**(*)    2+

33. SCREAM 4
USA, 11
**(*)       2+

34. RUBBER
USA, 10
**(*)     2+

35. WRONG TURN 4
USA, 11
**(*)        2+

36. KIDNAPPED
SPA, 11
**(*)        2+

37. WAKE WOOD
UK, 11
**(*)        2+

38. DON'T BE AFRAID OF THE DARK
USA, 11
**(*)         2+

39. SECONDS APART
USA, 11
**(*)        2+

40. LA CASA MUDA
SPA, 11
**(*)         2+


THE REST OF THE CRAP:

ATROCIOUS
SPA, 11
**(*)         2+

VANISHING ON 7TH STREET
USA, 10
**         2

PRIMAL
AUS, 10
**(*)    2+

SHADOW
ITA, 10
**         2

HUSK
USA, 10
*(*)       2-

CECILIA
DAN, 10
**         2

THE CLINIC
AUS, 10
**(*)     2+

SEASON OF THE WITCH
USA, 10
**(*)     2+

COLD PREY 3 (Fritt vilt III)
NOR, 10
**          2-

LOS OJOS DE JULIA
SPA, 11
**(*)       2+

PROWL
USA, 11
**(*)        2+

THE RITE
USA, 11
**           2+

THE KILLER SNAKES
HK, 10
**            2+

SECONDS APART
USA, 11
**(*)        2+

LITTLE DEATHS
USA, 11
**        2

DYLAN DOG DEAD OF NIGHT
USA, 11
**              2-

LE VILLAGE DES OMBRES
FRA, 10
**              2+

PREY
FRA, 11
**             2

EATERS: RISE OF THE DEAD
ITA, 11
**(*)         2+

DEATH AND CREMATION
USA, 11
**              2

THE TUNNEL
AUS, 11
**             2+

CHROMESKULL: LAID TO REST 2
USA, 11
**              2

A HORRIBLE WAY TO DIE
USA, 11
**              2+

HUMAINS
FRA, 10
**              2

SINT
HOL, 11
**             2

UNDER THE MOUNTAIN
NZ, 10
**             2

THE DEAD
AFR, 11
**(*)         2+

SECTOR 7
KOR, 11
**             2

WRECKAGE
USA, 11
*(*)          2-

GHASTLY
KOR, 11
**(*)        2+

BLOOD LINES
ITA, 11
**            2

DON'T GO IN THE WOODS
USA, 11
*           1+

AMPHIBIOUS
INDO, 11
**        2-


TOP 10: THE WORST HORROR FILMS OF 2011

1. THE GOATHERD
ARG, 11
(*)           1-

2. MINDFLESH
UK, 10
*          1

3. LADY BLOOD
FRA, 09
*               1+

4. FRIGHT NIGHT
USA, 11
*               1+

5. BITE MARKS
USA, 11
*(*)           1+

6. CAGED (aka CAPTIFS)
FRA, 11
**            2-

7. THE LAST LOVECRAFT
USA, 10
*(*)      2-

8. BABY SHOWER
SPA, 11
*(*)         2-

9. GREY SKIES
CAN, 11
*(*)          2-

10. THE WOMAN
USA, 11
*(*)           2-